The Price of a Data Centre in Hazle Township — $10K per Household. Mr Burns Would Be Proud.
A township that has already turned down a data centre is being offered $10K per household to change its mind.
In non-Apple related news, the Wall Street Journal reports that NorthPoint Development wants to build a data centre in the Pocono foothills near Hazle Township, in Pennsylvania, United States. The township has already turned the project down on zoning grounds, so NorthPoint has gone over its head, straight to the residents. And what better way to incentivise the residents of Hazle Township than by offering them $10,000 per household (roughly £7,500), a “grant” payable once the first of a planned 15 buildings gets its certificate of occupancy? [1] For reference the median income of the town is $60,000 (around £45,000) and the Wall Street Journal notes that the 10k offer could cover about six months rent for a two-bedroom apartment.
The Journal interviewed a number of people in the Township and found that few people want the data centre in their area. The reasons for rejecting the planned proposal relate to the noise the data centre might generate, alongside general disquiet about AI itself. The Journal notes that there was a “general distrust towards these projects or the people behind them”. Another resident noted that the $10K payout from NorthPoint wouldn't make up for what it would do to the value of his property.
What's wrong with a little bribery, exactly? President Trump pledged nearly three weeks ago to send every adult U.S. citizen $5,000 if Republicans keep both chambers in November (a former Republican congressman called it a "ridiculous, unrealizable bribe"). It's per adult, not per household, so a two-adult household in Hazle Township could collect $10,000 from Trump alone — exactly NorthPoint's offer — without a single data centre being built. Hurrah! All it needs is an election win and an Act of Congress. I'm sure that's fine.
Brent Miles, who has the unenviable position of Chief Marketing Officer at NorthPoint is, shall we say, both undeterred and optimistic. He reckons the company has converted almost 100 residents who were initially wary about the payments. He said that the company had cleared up “misinformation” the residents had been told — about water, energy costs, noise. Translation: “take the money and shut up — nothing to see here”.
Locals have noticed that NorthPoint has begun (altruistically) sponsoring various things around their township — for example at a local festival: “Free amusement rides sponsored by NorthPoint”! (This is not a joke)
One resident wisely believes that the blatant bribes may end up backfiring, because, well, they look like blatant bribes.
Does any of this sound familiar? The nuclear plant in Springfield never harmed a soul either. (Ask Blinky.) When Bart pulled a three-eyed fish out of the river, the government sent in inspectors; Mr Burns tried to bribe the chief inspector by leaving a large pile of cash on his desk; when that failed, he ran for governor to make 342 safety violations go away. His defence was that the fish was an evolutionary leap, and that his critics were just spooked by the "nuclear boogeyman". [2]
There are 4,500 households in the township, so the payments would total $45 million. ↩︎
Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish (Wikipedia). Fixing the violations would have cost $56 million. Burns' campaign ended when he couldn’t swallow a bite of the fish he spent the campaign defending, in front of the press. ↩︎